You were born first a god, then a man.
The thing with gods, is that they are portrayed strong. The thing with me, is that I am portrayed in a god’s image – and I do not feel strong.
I do not want a god if that god does not represent me.
(perhaps it is wrong of me to think so, but god and me are very much alike.)
Two hundred thousand years on this Earth and we are still making mistakes. We are still falling over our own feet, we are still destroying in an attempt to create, we are still loving – no matter how hard we try not to.
(we both have a love for humankind, and a desperate need to be believed.)
Do you think that a god looks down sometimes, and wonder if they deserve the love we give them so wholeheartedly? The way we sacrifice ourselves over, and over, and over, for love – do you think the heart of a god aches for us?
(we both put our own soul into something only to be forgotten.)
We want but we don’t need, we need but we don’t want, and we take and take and take because we can.
The way we break because we want to feel, the way we trust so blindly, the way that we are not gods but we feel like we can be.
(give me a god who is so humanlike, they do not know what to do with themselves.)
In the bottom of my heart, the back of my brain, somewhere, anywhere, I know – that there is a god somewhere, who bleeds red and punches walls and loves and loves and loves, one who doesn’t know –
We are all trying to find the answer to the universe. We are all trying to prove that there is a god, somewhere, anywhere, so we can tell ourselves that our lives matter. We are all trying really hard to be happy.
(give me a god so humanlike, that i am not made out of their image, but them from mine.)
-Sahana Subramanian